Why I gave myself permission to sit on the couch this month


When the text reminder came from my business partner yesterday that I still needed to write our September newsletter, I replied I know- just trying to find the time and energy.
Time and energy – two things we all seem to want more of, but lately I’ve been wanting more rest.  I’ve been extra tired this month- often in bed at the same time as my kids, sometimes before them.  Turning down social invitations to stay home and watch movies.  Feeling unmotivated to exercise and watching projects stack up around my house.   My initial reaction was full of worrisome thoughts that something must be wrong with me.  Perhaps I’m sick?  Are my hormones off?  Am I depressed?  Yikes- am I really getting that old?   After ticking through all the reasons and remedies for my fatigue, it dawned on me that maybe I just needed to surrender to it, stop looking for an explanation or cure, listen to my body and rest.  
In most places throughout the country autumn has arrived- leaves changing and a chill to the air- giving more formal invitation to spend quieter time indoors, cook warm soups and stews, and wind down for the winter months ahead.   Here in our California sunshine heat wave we haven’t truly experienced a change of season yet and I think my body and soul are rebelling a bit.   I grew up in the Wasatch mountains and lived in Colorado for many years, where the color and coolness of fall was eagerly anticipated and the first snowflake signaled the beginning of ski season for me.   Right now I feel like I want to be surrounded by piles of crimson and orange leaves, drinking spiced cider, baking cookies indoors, and wearing my boots and chunky sweaters.  Instead I’m wearing tank tops, flip flops, and trying to find popsicles and water-based activities to keep cool.  My kids keep asking me when they are going to see rain and snow.  They miss the seasons-so do I.  Maybe this is why I'm so damn tired?
What I have been doing this last month is more internal reflection.  When I’m not moving at a frantic pace, not absorbed in my busy-ness, and when I stop to rest more I tend to connect with my inner voice.   That voice may or may not tell me what I want to hear, but there are always important messages about what is real for me and what needs to shift.   I’ve also been reaching out to more friends and family for advice and the loving support that I need, and have had longer, deeper, uninterrupted conversations about life.   The shit that really matters.
I’m being reminded through rest you are more able to receive.
As we move into a new season, allow yourself to rest when your body asks for it.  Get more sleep.  Come in for acupuncture treatments when you need a respite.  Schedule an afternoon to just do nothing.   In Chinese Medicine we call this supporting your Kidney Qi.  It's kind of like giving your adrenals a vacation so they can better support you when you need their energy and vitality.  Rest also helps boost your immune system, just like acupuncture and herbs, so now is the time to take good care of yourself before cold and flu season begins.   Aren't you glad you were just given permission to relax?

As I write this I think the temperature just dropped 20 degrees!   Be careful what you wish for...